Advice? I got it.

And for you:

Any foul smell seeping from your pores, accumulating especially in soft tissue folds, such as armpits, behind the knees, and between the cheeks of your butt can typically be eliminated with soap, in either gel or bar form. If the foul smell lingers and begins to affect your daily activities, sexual health, or personality. It is time to see a doctor.

The doctor will likely tell you to shut the fuck up and stop your whining, because it's your own damn fault that you have a foul personality. It's your fault that you don't want to have any fun and you can't take anything like you take shots.
Doc'd tell you that you complain too much and have nothing short of stupid ideas. Doc would smack you in the face for your creepy fingers and knock you out if the appointment took more than an hour.

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